Yesterday, exhaustion finally found me. And I found myself at the local pub, dressed in yoga pants and my husband’s oversized hoody (what I’d grabbed at 8am so I could bike my daughter to school before guiding a writing circle and then spending the afternoon packaging products), and ordering take-out fish and chips. Did I mention I’m also facilitating the online fall detox this week?
I was spent. I prescribed myself fish and chips with my daughter in front of a movie. She chose The Lorax, a personal favourite.
2 weeks ago, I committed to taking autumn off. I decided to take a breather, which, apparently for me, means creating yet another business venture (insert eye-rolling emoji here).
I’ve watched this dichotomy carefully. Curiously. Vata is my predominant nature. I love to create. I thrive on change. But this inability to withdraw from work had my attention.
But not during The Lorax. My complete attention was on the adorable singing fish trio and those marshmellow-loving bears.
Until Danny Devito spoke that one line. No, not the one you think. Not the one I kept repeating aloud, winking at my daughter, awaiting it’s arrival in the movie.
“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”
Not that line. There is another line. One that is more personal.
And though the Lorax is an accurate commentary on the state of the world, big business and the environment,
that one little line…
that one poignant point…
aims an arrow straight at the heart of all suffering.
“Happy yet? You fill that hole deep down inside you?”
As I sat on my front step this morning, drinking my cup of hot water in order to get the fish and chips moving through my system, I contemplated that line. I considered the constant craving that pulled me into creative venture after creative venture.
What is the hole I am trying to fill? Because a deep-dive into that place may hold the key for each of us.
For all of us.